Slimming; get drunk on super absorbency**



Safe for Down There
fingers (clean & short nails)
penises*
vibrators*
dildos*
cucumbers*
electric toothbrushes*

Not Safe for Down There
Sharpie markers
safety pins
a French baguette
hamsters
vodka soaked tampons

You may have just read that second list and laughed, but that last non-safe for down there isn’t as ridiculous as it seems. Thanks to a few personal blogs that I read, I learned about a new fad; slimming. From what I can surmise (thank you YouTube), slimming is the vaginal or anal insertion of a vodka-soaked tampon in order to get drunk. ShamelesslySassy‘s blog post first caught my eye, and then I read about Slacker-Moms-R-Uspersonal experience learning of this new trend on a school field trip.

I am not surprised that teens are looking for new ways to hide drinking from their parents. This has been happening for generations. I am, however, surprised to think that teens are willing to endure the burning that a vodka-infused tampon must elicit. I’m highly interested in learning more about the actual physical dangers that putting a tampon soaked in vodka can have on a woman’s vagina/vaginal opening and/or the anus. It can’t be good.

Parents, if you notice that your daughter is suddenly going through more tampons than normal, or that your son is very willing to hang out in the feminine product aisle, you might want to start asking some pretty personal questions.

*safest with a condom
*Thank you Mommy Is Moody for the fabulous title

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8 thoughts on “Slimming; get drunk on super absorbency**

  1. I don’t see how you’d get a soggy wad of cotton up your ass; and if you did, you’d have to be so careful about not losing that string, if you’re really aiming for ‘discretion’ here. (I can see the E.R. report now…)On the other hand, if you could get it up there, you’d get tipsy pretty quickly — I’ve read that inserting medicine into the rectum is one of the fastest ways to get it into the bloodstream. (It’s more complex than that, but that’s the idea; hence, suppositories.)As for vodka in the vagina… I suppose it would dry out and irritate the tissues, which makes them more vulnerable to virii. Not to mention the sugar-and-yeast-infection connection. I wonder if all those blood vessels that engorge during arousal would mean that vaginal vodka would get you drunker faster than drinking?

  2. I'd be very careful if I had a vagina… There is a delicate balance of living things in there and a 40% alc/vol solution would sterilize the environment, leaving the door open (sorry, couldn't resist) to infections – from both bacterial and viral sources; the prolonged vodka-douche would induce irritation/abrasion of the mucous membrane thereby reducing or even removing this natural STD barrier. But then again IIRC this wouldn't have stopped me when I was a teen…

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